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OH HOLY CRIMANY RUSSEL T DAVIES. GIVE ME A BLEEDING HEART ATTACK.

I'm still in shock from that. That was...ooooooooh. My. God. As Julia said, that was the fastest turnaround from "Eh, this episode isn't wonderful, what the hell is he doing..." to "THIS IS BRILLIANT. AND TERRIFYING."

Did I mention terrifying???? Not the monsters or anything like that, but...the Doctor. Oh jeezus Doctor. He scared the bleeding crap out of me.

Going back from the beginning...until those last fifteen minutes I did not think it was the strongest episode, at all. We've seen creepy monsters, we've seen the Doctor walk away from changing a fixed moment in time before. It felt too rehashed, too sameold-sameold. Though mind you...

"State your name, rank and intention."
"The Doctor...Doctor...fun."


Still giggling over that line XD.

Anyway, beyond that, niether the dialogue nor story arc seemed really original. We've seen all that angst, we saw it in Pompeii. And we knew that he wasn't going to change anything, because Donna wasn't there. And it was just stupid, to watch him go through something he'd already been through so recently. But then...

He did change it. And it was so not in the way anyone would have expected. I thought if he was going to change it, it would be because Donna's voice would be ringing in the back of his mind. Not...

"But they died...they all died! D'you know who that leaves? Me! It's taken me all these years to realize the laws of Time are mine--and they will obey me!"

Time Lord victorious...oh God Doctor. Oh Doctor Doctor Doctor...in a way, I'm not surprised that this happened, not at all. With all he's lost through the years, all the bitterness, and all the pure power he possesses--it's no wonder that he cracked, once he decided that he wasn't going to play by those rules anymore. And because he thinks he's going to die soon--well, he can do whatever the hell he wants. Because it is in his inherent nature, after all--Everybody Lives. All he wants is to make sure that everybody lives.

But then at the same time, when that desire spirals out of control, when it does make him crack--it also turns him into something else. Something frightening. I think this is what [livejournal.com profile] onlyobsess was afriad of--and clone, you were so right. That conversation he has with Adelaide at the very end--I couldn't recognize him, not really. It was like the Doctor blinded with rage and power. I couldn't help thinking of what Gandalf tells Frodo-- "I would use it for the desire to do good...but through me, it would weild a power too great and terrible to even imagine."

And the look on his face when he realizes that Adelaide kills herself anyway--that she was right, so very, very right (sidenote on how much I loved her character)--oh it just broke my heart. And made me start hyperventalating. Because he has fucked things up, he has fucked things so majorly up.

Oh, Doctor. What on earth have you done?


In other news, I passed the 15,000 word mark for NaNo. The story's taking a completely different turn, but I am very very happy. I'm right on track to meet my word-count goal (30,000) and I've got a whole 'nother fifteen days to play around =D.
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